Mark LaMarr generally opens the show with a comment featuring lyrics from a song, twisted into a questionable meaning…. such as

Welcome to the show that says, “Hey Mister Tambourine Man. What first attracted you to the salvation army?”

The pop quiz that say “He ain’t heavy”, thats just water retention.

The pop quiz that says “Papa was a rolling stone”, and mama’s still at school”

Welcome to the show that says “Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you”. My name is Keith Chegwin and I’m an alcoholic.

The pop show that say “The Lady In Red”, not as shagable as the nanny obviously.

The pop quiz that says that deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball. Terrible juggler though!

The pop show that says “It only takes a minute girl” and for that I apologize.

The pop quiz that says, “If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady”, I’d double the estimate and bugger off with the work half done.

The show that says, “Nights in white satin”, not one of King Arthurs best ideas.

The pop quiz that says with your long blonde hair and your eyes of blue, I declare your latest operation a success Mr Jackson.

The pop quiz that says, This wheels on fire and look at the hamster go!

The pop quiz that says “I read the news today oh boy” and they said I would never make it with a name like Zane Apadari

The pop quiz that says “Don’t know much about history” but I am just a history teacher in a Hackney comprehensive!

The pop quiz that says “Oh Carol, I am just a fool” so I’ll have eight vowels and one constanant please.

The pop quiz that says “There’s a lady who sure, all that glitters is gold” and she’s buying a bracelet from Ratners

The pop quiz that says “I am the anti christ, I am an anarcist, you are slim, non smoker, good sense of humour, enjoy theatre, country walk, lets get together for mutual fun”

The pop quiz that says, “There’s no one quite like grandma” although Ginger Spice is catching up pretty quickly!

The pop quiz that says “The drugs don’t work”. That’s the last time I buy anything from Jack Straws son.

The pop quiz that says “There is a house in New Orleans, 3 bedrooms, 2 receptions, early viewing strongly recommended”

The pop quiz that says “Papa’s got a brand new bag, but Nicole is still going out with that simpering French ponce!”

The pop quiz that says “We’re living our lives in a gangsters paradise”. We’ve moved to Malaga with Barbara Windsor.

The pop quiz that says “Govinda Jaya Jaya Radha-ramanahari” and a side order of onion bargee please.

The pop quiz that say “Get your rocks off get your rocks off” The Iranian court has found me not guilty!

The pop quiz that says “Do you really want to hurt me” because thats an extra fifty quid love.

The pop quiz that says “We skip the light fandango”, just give us two orders of musaka and a bottle of retsina.

The pop quiz that likes to say “we’re sorry”. As you may have read in some of the papers recently we’ve been accused of being less than welcoming to one of our guests. To give our side of the story we’ve never actually had a model on the show before, so all of us were a little uneasy. And while I don’t think we were actually rude, heaven offend, I would point out that life on a quiz show may be slightly different to what you’re used to on the catwalk. Never Mind the Buzzcocks, the show that says sorry seems to be the hardest word, whereas “DIE YOU OILY PIG IN A DUNCE HAT!” rolls off the tongue quite nicely!

The pop quiz that says “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm wollen mittens” I hate being Lemmy’s tattooist!

The pop quiz that says “Love don’t live here any more” She had to move out when Cobain shot himself.

The pop quiz that says “I just called to say I love you”, but I bet that isn’t really your picture in the phonebox.

The pop quiz that says “Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand. Why she walks like a woman and talks like a man” and why is Isreal in the eurovision song contest anyway?